ravenmichiru: (Kotori (Forsaken))
[personal profile] ravenmichiru
Do you ever wonder that when you have a falling out with a friend, or delete them off your list because you rarely (if ever) talk, that they miss you or even notice you are gone?

I'm sadly beginning to think no in a lot of my cases.

Date: 2009-09-14 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] groovyjuice.livejournal.com
I didn't think I was still on your friends list. Both you and Steph posted "friends only/culling friends--sorry" things on your LJs, and when I didn't see anything from either of you for a while, I figured I'd been culled.

Good to see you're still around, Jen.

Date: 2009-09-15 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladybuggington.livejournal.com
I can't speak for Jen's culling you but for my part, when Jen and I broke up February, I felt like I could no longer trust anyone I thought I knew. So I changed my name and deleted the entirety of my friends list and added people back very slowly. You didn't say anything to either one of us around that time, so I put you in the I can't totally trust/probably doesn't care about me pile. As you never seemed to have noticed (at least in so far as you said anything I was aware of) I figured I'd rightly hedged my bet.

I know what happened with Jennifer and I had nothing to do with you, but it made me extremely paranoid and question everyone's motives and actions. I really do like you, and miss you but I don't feel like we've been friends for a few years now.

Maybe that conclusion is firmly rooted by my insane paranoia and emotional distress instead of logic. I'm sorry for that, but I can't deal with feeling convinced that people don't care about me when I'm already depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts. So I found it best to drop contact. I've questioned that decision several times, but I guess I'm still to scared to trust most people to care about me.

Date: 2009-09-15 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] groovyjuice.livejournal.com
Everyone has their reasons for conducting their real and online lives the way they do; I figured I knew you both well enough that if either of you felt I should be cut from one list or another, then there wasn't anything I could say or do to convince you otherwise. You don't need to explain yourself to me, Steph, though I appreciate your honesty.

Aren't online relationships wonderful? Before Facebook, Livejournal, Myspace, Twitter--even back when there was just plain old email, when a friend fell off the face of the earth or even just grew distant, one could say that you simply lost touch with each other. Nowadays that's almost impossible to believe.

Love the icon, btw. Did you see that bust when it was living at the MIA (years and years ago)?

Date: 2009-09-15 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladybuggington.livejournal.com
I know I really didn't have to explain my motives to you. They may be inscrutable, if not outright insane, but I thought it would be nice to make the effort, if not a bit late.

The veiled woman was still in the MIA collection last I was there, 2 years ago. I always make an effort to see it whenever I'm there.

Date: 2009-09-17 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ravenmichiru.livejournal.com
If you were worried, why didn't you ask before now?

Date: 2009-09-21 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] groovyjuice.livejournal.com
I don't know if that's addressed to me, but if it is:

As I said to Steph, I knew at the time that I wouldn't be able to talk either of you out of doing whatever you felt was necessary with your online lives. When you both disappeared from my friends list, I figured the trust issues you were dealing with extended to include those you hadn't spoken to in a while, so chasing after you and whining over the internet wasn't going to help. And if I wasn't on your friends list, what good would it do to post my feelings about not/i> being on your friends list?

I suppose I can say I wasn't worried, exactly. I was sad that you two had broken up, but I also figured we'd grown apart over the last, what, nine years? We all have our own lives and social circles now, and whether or not everyone's still included isn't anyone's fault, it's just the way life evolved for the all of us.

That being said, I am still glad you're around.

Date: 2009-09-15 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tex-chan.livejournal.com
I know that exact feeling. Although, in my case, I'm pretty sure people wouldn't miss me. Because I'm mostly ignored, anyhow. >.O

But(!!) I would miss you. I would probably not say anything about it, just because of being afraid of overstepping boundaries or whatever, but I would definitely miss you.

*hugs*

Date: 2009-09-17 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ravenmichiru.livejournal.com
I would miss you! I may not comment often, but I do read your entries and I would miss you.

Date: 2009-09-17 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladybuggington.livejournal.com
It just occurs to me now that I never responded to you personally in your own blog. So here you go:

Inaction is often the greatest form of action/ It hurts more too.

For the most part, the people you've grown apart from, you've done so for a reason. Likely because of that aforementioned inaction in whatever forms it may take. If they don't think about you, it may make you feel sad, but that's why you dropped the contact in the first place. If they do think about you, they're still committing the crime of inaction by not saying/doing anything about it, so you're still probably better off without them.

It's not always that cut and dry, but I'm insanely misanthropic lately so I prefer to think the worst of people.

Date: 2009-09-17 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ravenmichiru.livejournal.com
I know that I am guilty of it some times, but I agree. Inaction is sometimes the greatest action.

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